These past few months have been really hectic.

No, I wasn’t as hardworking as I was in sg. I’m guessing it’s because I had 3 trimesters back home and 2 semesters here only so everything  spreads out more evenly. 

Just guessing. 

I’ve never zoomed past so many stuff in just a few months and transiting from that slow, jobless, stressful, nothing to do life to slow, jobless, student, occasionally free life feels like such a huge difference. 

I left home to live somewhere else for a long time for the first time. I never realised how homesick I could get. 

Then I jumped straight into research when I hardly knew anyone or anything. 

I didn’t expect myself to face lecturers in a meeting to present my ideas without the jitters. 

Didn’t expect to do things properly when running experiment (I thought I’ll mess up every time and get into trouble).

Didn’t expect my research to actually heal me of a certain past. 

Didn’t expect that I would get so used to doing everything myself so easily.

Didn’t expect that I could make friends at all.

Didn’t expect to make friends in class but it happened.

Didn’t expect to feel so much less stressed than I was before (makes me wonder if I’m too lazy).

Didn’t expect to be here (I’m still thinking I’ll wake up and discover it’s all a dream).

Didn’t expect to be given a chance to help out at a workshop so I can listen to talks about research regarding refugees for free (it happened so random and sudden).

Didn’t expect to audition for a musical but I did.

Didn’t expect to get a lead role for a musical and it happened.

Didn’t expect that my negativity would disappear.

The list can just go on.

I can’t love life more right now, it’s such a blessing that everything has happened that sometimes I wonder, will something bad suddenly happen?

I would hate that.

A lot.

So time for my first examination here.

Another hurdle.

Even if I may look like I’m not, I’m scared as hell.